Thursday, August 14, 2014

baby blues

After Leela was born, it was a confusing time for me; polarizing.  On one end, I felt so blessed to have her.  I felt grateful that she was healthy and beautiful.  But other feelings would creep up.  I’d sit there and yearn for the life I had before she was born.  I missed having freedom and being able to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do.  After Leela was born, I could no longer think of myself first.  The harsh truth of it was I missed being selfish.  I envied other people, childless people, for their seemingly carefree lives.  I envied other mothers for their positivity and energy; they seemed like naturals compared to me. 

Then there was an overwhelming guilt for feeling those things to begin with.  I’d look at Leela and feel bad for her that she got me as her mom.  I found myself compensating for the guilt by being obsessive over her health.  I was fearful that I would somehow destroy her via my own ignorance.  I began to fixate on things like Leela’s sleep patterns, her temperature, even her poops for the right color! 

Chris was an incredible support.  He did everything in those first weeks- helped me get out of bed, cooked all the meals, cleaned, changed almost all of Leela’s diapers.  He was also the first one to tend to Leela when she cried.  I always knew I loved him, but damn, after seeing him with Leela I knew.  I felt terrible that he was Leela’s main caregiver.  I wanted to step up and get my shit together for my family. 

I knew I didn’t want to be the kind of mom that was cray cray, so I reached out for support.  My mom came over almost everyday to help out.  She really took care of me, so I could take care of Leela.  I saw a social worker/counsellor who helped normalize my experience; she was all about forgiving yourself and focusing on now.  My midwife friend was also great with talking me through my worries.  My thoughts and feelings didn’t change overnight.  It was a slow process and it took some time for me to feel normal again. 

Now there are far more good days than shitty days.  I have confidence in myself and I’m no longer haunted by my worries.  I don’t think I’ll ever feel like my old self again, but it isn’t a bad thing.  I don’t want my old life back.  I love being Leela’s mom and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. 

Monday, July 28, 2014

removable rocking chair upholstery

Want to upholster a chair?  It’s like wrapping a present. 

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Here’s what the chair looked like before.  See how the fabric is discolored and worn?  The chair has removable cushions for the seat and back, and the ottoman has a cushion attached to it.

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For the seat and back, spread the fabric out, place the cushions on top and wrap em up. Then go to town on the fabric with pins and sew right on top of the pinned areas.  Leave an edge open to easily remove the fabric and throw it into the wash when it gets dirty.  I’m glad I had the foresight to make the upholstery removable because Leela spits up a ton. 

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For the ottoman, use elastics on each corner for a snug fit; like a fitted bed sheet! 

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This is the chair I use for Leela’s monthly picture.  Here’s a sneak peak of her at three months!  All dressed up and nowhere to go. 

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Any upholstery successes out there??

Friday, June 6, 2014

Leela Rose

We had her and named her Leela!  She’s a gem.  The most beautiful girl in the world (sang in falsetto).  Life has been a whirlwind; I even gave myself an awful haircut because there was no time to do anything but sleep, nurse and eat.  My badly neglected blog is even more badly neglected.  I’m sure you’ll forgive me when you see her…Here is our dear Leela at one week!  Kaitlyn took  the picture. 

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Beautiful girl is beautiful.  Also, tons of hair, yes?!  I’m about to share Leela’s birth story.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

So labor hurt a bunch.  I don’t mean to brag about how painful it was, but damn, son.  That shit hurt.  If someone set out to torture me, I don’t think they’d do as effective a job as labor did.  Sad lol.  Leela came a week early.  I had through the roof high blood pressure :(  My midwife and doctor were concerned that it would lead to other scary complications, so they recommended an induction.  I had no context (first baby/labor), but my midwife said induction makes the contractions more intense.  On top of that, Leela was facing the wrong way aka “sunny side up’'; again no context, but I was told sunny side up also makes the contractions more intense.  Contraction pain aside, my temperature began to rise, my cervix failed to dilate past 5 cms, and Leela’s head began to swell.  My midwife and doctor started talking caesarean; I started shaking violently out of fear.  I did want our baby out and healthy asap though, so I got on board with little convincing. 

The medical team moved quickly and before I could process what was happening, our baby was born!  I was so relieved when I heard her cry.  When Chris brought her to my side, I remember being surprised because her eyelashes where crazy long.  She was healthy (whew!), super puffy and red and perfect. 

I was so grateful for our medical team’s speediness when things got complicated.  I was also grateful for our midwife team’s support in making sure Chris and I were fully informed decision makers.  The midwives were magic in calming me down during the worst contractions and making me feel safe.  Top marks go to Chris.  He was incredibly strong and took every frustration I flung at him like a pro.  He was so many things for me that day- masseur, counsellor, punching bag, coach- whatever I needed, he adapted. 

Labor was an incredible journey.  Now it’s time for the good stuff- raising our baby like there’s no tomorrow. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

custom crib skirt

After assembling the crib, I thought you need to cover yourself up, missus!  I went on Fabric.com and spent hours upon hours obsessing over fabric for the nursery.  Since the nursery walls were white, I knew I wanted fabrics that would really pop.   I finally went for a green polka dotted number called Loralie Fast Women Jumbo Dots Green/White (wft is that name, right?!); I ordered 2.5 yards of the stuff.  Sadly, the last time I checked Fabric.com, they ran out of giant loose lady fabric.  There are other great options though and I would absolute use Fabric.com again.  Check out the final product! 

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Easiest sewing project ever.  You just need three rectangular pieces of fabric; one for the front of the crib and two for the sides.  Measure the length and width of the front and sides of the crib just under the mattress to the floor.  For my crib, the measurements were 16.5” height, 51.5”long (front) and 26.5” long (sides).  Be sure to add at least 3 inches extra to your measurements.  I sewed a zip stitch and the edge to prevent fraying, folded the edges in by about 1/2 an inch, and straight stitched over the tip of the fold.  Just the tip. 

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I used safety pins to attach the fabric to the mattress frame.  The corners were a little bit of a pain.  I was glad I added that extra 3 inches to fill up any potential gaps in the corners. 

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Now I can store things under the crib on the DL…maybe food, probably not, probably diapers.  Anyone out there in nesting mode? 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

paint

We have wonderful friends.  Big thanks to Keith, Alea and Adam for helping Chris paint the nursery!  I tapped out on account of the baby and the fumes; spent the day listening to 90s slow jams and pushing pudding cups on our friends. 

After a ton of thought, we decided to paint the room…white!!!  I found these vibrant fabrics and super colorful prints, so methinks a white background would make those elements stand out more.  The walls started off greyish purple.  See the ugliness below.  We had workout equipment and a rocking chair in there; it was a confused room.  This baby in my belly has really given the room a sense of purpose! 

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After one gallon of Contemporary White from Behr, the room looked so fresh so clean, so fresh and so clean clean. 

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You can see the crib skirt and curtains on the floor.  I’m bursting to share those projects with you!  Here’s a teaser of the fabric.  Stay tuned! 

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check out our crib

I started mat leave!  Baby isn’t here yet, so I have lots time to nap, clean, play with Charlie  and update my blog.  I’ve been surprisingly busy in the past few months and I’m happy to have time now to nest and relax.  Major part of nesting- setting up the nursery…
We got a crib!  It was my first Black Friday purchase, which is getting pretty big in Canada by the by.  We weren’t looking to drop more than a couple hundred dollars on the crib and found a great sale from Best Buy of all places!  Chris in his whatever you want, babe attitude gave me free reign to pick one out.  So in my obsess until I’m tired attitude, I spent hours researching look, safety, and cost.  I picked the Storkcraft Bradford Fixed Side Convertible Crib in white.  It was a 4-in-1 deal (crib, toddler bed, day bed and full size bed), crazy cheap (under $180), and it was made of non toxic materials. 




It was also easy to assemble!  Only took me an episode or two of Dr. Who.  Yes, I assembled the crib on my own!  And yes, I watch Dr. Who.  It was delivered in the morning and I couldn’t wait for Chris to get home, so I took it upon myself.  I love to build stuff.  Also, I find Dr. Who amusing and endearing. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

gender reveal party

We had a Gender Reveal Party!  The first time I talked to Chris about it, I excitedly said, “Let’s have a Baby Sex Party!!”  Then he got all shocked and grossed out.  I went all rage monster on him about how he never wants me to have parties and have fun and how great it would be to find out in front of our family and friends.  Then Chris was like, “Oh!  Think about what you’re saying.” Turns out, Baby Sex Party makes people think about sexual fetish stuff.   After that conversation, we referred to it as a Gender Reveal Party. 

We sent out invites via http://www.evite.com/.  I used the upload your photo invites.  I was learning how to use Illustrator at work, so I made a simple picture that read ‘S/HE What’ll it be?!’ 

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For decorations, I just love pom poms, don’t you?  I made a bunch, fuck ton, of pink and blue pom poms.  I was looking forward to stringing those babies up, but I got some “Should you be doing that?” from Chris, so Chris and Nicole strung them up on our ceiling.  Thanks, guys!

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As guests arrived, we had them write their names on a gender voting board.  The final count was 13 boy and 10 girl. 

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My absolute favorite part was the cake pop reveal.  Catherine, an amazing baker friend of ours made cake pops.  I asked her to make the batter the typical pink for girl or blue for boy.  I was adamant that I didn’t want to find out the gender before the party.  At the ultrasound, Chris found out the sex and he told Catherine.  He kept it a secret for 3 days.  Kudos, love.  At the party, we passed the cake pops around and everyone took a bite at the same time. 

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Kaitlyn took a video of the action.  I crazy nervous at this point!  It was no secret I wanted a girl.  Straight up, I was even practicing my I’m-ok-smile if the batter was blue.  Yup, I’m aware I have issues.  Here’s a screen shot of the video.  As you can see, I coordinated pink and blue outfits. 

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The batter revealed GIRL!!!!!!!!  Fun filter time…

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I’m so happy we shared such a special moment with our friends and family.  I can still taste the delicious cake pops!